no, he came in my armpit
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
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