I heard we made out
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes