4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?