is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
