he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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