if you like me you must not know who I am
I just threw up on my dentist
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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