puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
