I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
