So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
