god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
