absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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