He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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