I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
