It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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