ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
