Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
