I look better un-naked...
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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