Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
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Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
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Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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