Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
