I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Girls should come with a carfax report
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
