Your tits are I can't wait for
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
