Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
