but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize