Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
