My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
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Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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