yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
