I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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