I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
