I haven't been this sober since birth.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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