we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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