So drunk its hurt
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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