He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
