Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
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