your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Randomize
