I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize