normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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