I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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