I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
