Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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