my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
