So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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