it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
