Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
