Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
