Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize