just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
