Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
