I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
