I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
