my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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