Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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