Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
