why didn't you poke me back
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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