I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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