You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
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I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
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he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
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