we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
