i just wanna soil my oats bro
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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