so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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