chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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