Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
