Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
